


After Manhattan

by wildz907



Series: Raina Song series [2]
Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Family, Gen, Post-Episode: s07e05 The Angels Take Manhattan, Time Tots | Babies (Doctor Who)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-14
Updated: 2021-03-14
Packaged: 2021-03-22 22:40:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,310
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30045864
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wildz907/pseuds/wildz907
Summary: Raina Song thought that she understood loss, because traveling with her father means accepting that there are days when not everyone lives. But that was before Manhattan. Now, she truly understands the cost of traveling with the Doctor. [Time Lord OC, daughter of the Doctor and River Song]
Relationships: Eleventh Doctor/River Song
Series: Raina Song series [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2210331
Comments: 4
Kudos: 2





	After Manhattan

**Author's Note:**

> Set after chapter five of Family Stories Through Time.

Loss affected everyone in different ways.

This was the first true loss that Raina had ever experienced. Travelling with her father meant that she had seen death, of course. No matter how hard they tried, not everyone could always be saved. It had been horrifying, and awful, but it had always been strangers. Raina had just followed her father’s lead and kept on running, never letting herself dwell too much on the darkness that she had witnessed. The rare times that she did think about it and talk about what she had seen, it was always to Amy and Rory. Her wonderful, loving, grandparents, who were just so  _ human _ . Raina loved both of her parents dearly, but sometimes they got so disconnected from reality. Her grandparents were the ones who always understood that small, tiny human part of her. It was ironic, wasn’t it, that the people she needed the most right now were the ones that were making her feel this way. 

She had been holed away in her bedroom in the TARDIS for the past few days. She couldn’t deal with being around either of her parents right now. Her father, she knew, was handling this terribly. He was angry, and his anger sometimes made him cruel. He always strived for kindness, but times like this made it hard for him to manage. She didn’t think he would lash out at her, but she didn’t want to have to witness him lashing out at her mother. Her mother, who always took whatever he threw at her. Her mother, who she was certain was pushing away her grief to focus on helping the Doctor through this. Raina loved her parents, and she knew they both loved each other, but sometimes their dysfunction made her feel sick.

“I miss them,” she whispered in the darkness of her bedroom. She was sitting on her bed, hugging her knees to her chest, and staring blankly ahead. It was too dark to see the pale blue of the walls. The walls that were covered in pictures of Raina and her family. Many of the pictures contained Amy and Rory. She couldn’t bear to take them down, but she also couldn’t stand to see them right now. That’s why sitting in the dark was her only option. 

She felt the gentle hum of the TARDIS in her mind, as though the ship was trying to comfort her. “Thank you,” she murmured, appreciating the TARDIS more than ever. Raina had always loved her, just as the TARDIS had always loved Raina. She had basically grown up inside this ship, and the TARDIS was like a third parent. 

Raina laid down on her bed, clutching one of her old stuffed animals from childhood, a cat that her parents had given her to make her stop asking for a kitten. Of course, she had just gotten Rory to get her a real cat instead. Her great-grandfather Brian was taking care of the cat right now. She realized someone would have to tell him that he’d never see his son or daughter-in-law again. Raina pushed that thought away to deal with later. She felt exhausted from all of the crying that she had been doing. She did not have to sleep as often these days, thanks to her Time Lord biology, but right now she desperately wanted to drift off and not have to deal with reality. She closed her eyes and cleared her mind, focusing only on the TARDIS, letting the brilliant blue box sing her to sleep. 

The brunette woman was woken up several hours later, and the first thing she registered was that it was no longer dark in her room. She sat up and looked around her room, huffing as she realized that the TARDIS had turned on the lights. The message was clear: she’d had her time to cry, gotten some rest, and now it was time to stop hiding from the world. It was tempting to just ignore the ship and go back to sleep. Still… she knew she needed to check on her parents, as much as she wanted to avoid them. It wouldn’t be right to be selfish and focus solely on her own pain. The TARDIS had comforted her, and now it was time for her to comfort someone else.

Raina took one more minute to get herself under control. She had to admit that resting had helped, slightly. She was not anywhere near being okay, and wouldn’t be for a long time, but she felt that she could interact with someone else without breaking. She could do this. She was Raina Amelia Song, the daughter of the Doctor and River Song, and more importantly, she had Pond blood in her. That meant that she could get through anything.

She got out of her bed, not bothering to do anything with the messy sheets. She avoided looking at any of the pictures on the wall as she left her room. She looked through the endless gray hallway, knowing that the TARDIS would lead her to her parents. Previously, the TARDIS had rearranged the rooms so that Raina could quickly go wherever she needed, whether it was a bathroom or one of the kitchens. Now, the TARDIS would no longer assist her in her isolation. 

Raina could hear the sounds of a typewriter as she approached the room her parents must be in. She looked inside the room, which was some type of study. Her mother was sitting at a desk, typing away on an old typewriter, and Raina realized that River was working on the book that started this whole mess. She briefly wondered what would happen if she kept her mother from publishing it, but she knew that it wouldn’t fix anything. 

Raina’s father was on an old, worn looking couch, staring desperately at the last page of the book that he had ripped out. The page that contained Amy’s final goodbye. Raina still hadn’t read it, or any of the book. She was too scared to. She had already lived it, so she didn’t feel inclined to read it. Still, maybe she should, at some point. If her mother could force herself to write it, the least Raina could do would be to read it. 

The young Time Lord took a deep breath, and walked inside of the room. Her mother looked up at the sound of footsteps, and gave her a forced smile. “Raina, are you doing alright?” River asked her. She felt guilty at the concern on her mother’s face. The fact that Raina had been hiding and avoiding her parents had probably made them worry even more about her.

“I’m fine,” Raina lied. Her mother fixed her a look that said she saw right through her, but Raina didn’t care at this point. She had learned from both of her parents that it was easier to hide. “Are you guys okay?”

“Don’t worry about us, love. We’ll both be fine,” her mum told her. Raina briefly wondered what it would be like to have a family that could all be honest with each other. But that was for normal people with normal lives, not a fucked up family mixed of human and Time Lord that never stayed in one place for too long. Honestly, after losing her grandparents, Raina was really starting to understand her father’s urge to run. A part of her just wanted to run far away from all of this. 

“Course we will! Don’t worry about a thing, Raina,” her father finally spoke up, looking up from the page. She really didn’t want to see his false confidence and happiness right now. That act might work on people who didn’t know him, but not on her. Still, she couldn’t say anything, not when she had lied just as easily as both of them had. She wondered what Amy and Rory would think of the three of them right now. Amy, who was so blunt, and Rory, who was so honest. 

“You’re writing the book, aren’t you?” she asked her mother. River sighed and nodded, and the Doctor looked away from both of them, seeming rather tense. Raina slowly walked over to the desk and went to stand beside her mother, so she could look at what she was writing. As she looked over the words, she realized this was something that had happened that she hadn’t witnessed. This was when she and Amy had gone searching for Rory, leaving her parents to deal with the weeping angel that had River’s wrist in its grasp. She had felt torn between who to go with, but her mother had insisted that she go with Amy. 

Raina read over what was written, and she felt her hands clench into fists. She honestly should have figured all of this out sooner, based on what she had witnessed when her mother had a broken wrist later on, but everything had happened so quickly. She hadn’t had the time to really think about it. 

“He just left you alone with it, and expected you to magically find a way out?” Raina asked, trying to contain her frustration. Her mother opened her mouth to respond, and Raina just shook her head. “No, you’re just going to defend and excuse him, I know you are.”

“Raina, there was nothing he could have done anyway. There was a lot going on, and you know that,” River said firmly. Raina rolled her eyes at her mother, and turned to look at her father, who was watching them with a blank face. 

“You’re always so unfair to her, you know,” Raina snapped at him. “You expect way more from her than anyone else, you lash out at her more, you constantly show her the worst sides of you. I bet even the last few days it’s just been her helping you with your pain and ignoring her own.”

Raina knew she would possibly regret saying all of this later. Her dad wasn’t completely at fault, not really. She knew both of her parents fucked up a lot, just like anyone else. She was just so sad and lost and she had been thinking some of this for a while. As she had grown older, she had started noticing the issues her parents had easily hid from her when she was younger. She saw how her father usually handled Amy and Rory with care, but not always her mother. She saw how he always expected her to be way more capable than anyone else. It worried her, and made her upset, and it was all spilling out now. 

Her father’s face fell, and Raina immediately started to feel guilty as she saw the self-loathing in his eyes. She had meant to come help her parents, not make one of them feel even worse. This was what she got for bottling up her feelings. 

“You're right,” the Doctor agreed, looking every bit his age at that moment. “I'm really a rubbish husband.”

“No, sweetie, you're not,” River disagreed as she stepped out of the chair and walked over to him. “You show me the sides of you that you don't let others see because you know I can handle it.” 

Raina felt almost ashamed as she saw the tender and loving look that her mother gave her father. She watched as his face softened at River’s words. The way he looked at her was as if she held all the answers in the universe. Raina really was an idiot for doubting her father’s commitment to her mother. She realized that she had probably been worrying unnecessarily. 

“I'm sorry,” Raina whispered as her eyes filled with tears. She had hoped she was done with crying, but apparently not. 

Her parents broke eye contact with each other to look at her. “It’s alright, dear. You were being protective of me,” River responded. “I just want you to understand that there is nothing your father could do that would ever make me hate him. You don't need to be worried that he will drive me away.”

Raina couldn't find any words to say, so she just nodded. She looked at her father, needing to be absolved by him. She almost felt like a child again, desperate for her parents’ love and forgiveness. 

“Raina, you don't ever need to apologize for trying to protect your mother. I love her, and I love you, and nothing could ever change that,” the Doctor swore. “Now get over here so we can hug you.” 

Raina let out a sob as she ran into the embrace of her parents. The three of them hugged each other tightly, and finally allowed each other to share in the pain of losing a vital part of their family. The Doctor had lost his two best friends. He had lost Amelia Pond, the first face that this version of him had ever seen, and Rory the Roman, who had shown him what true love and loyalty looked like. River had lost her parents, the couple that had given her life, and grown up with her. Raina had lost her grandparents, who had taught her what it meant to be human. They had always been there to ground her, and remind her that although there was a whole universe to see and explore, there was beauty to be found from staying still on Earth.

Raina knew it would take a long time for any of them to heal from this, but maybe, if they could rely on each other, it would help. She had lost an important part of her life, but she still had her parents. No matter how abandoned she felt right now, she just had to remember that she wasn’t alone. As long as she had both of them, Raina could get through this.

**Author's Note:**

> Well, so far so good as far as my promise to post once a month! 
> 
> This obviously takes place after the last chapter of Family Stories Through Time. I actually wrote this first though. Two or three years ago. But I just never got around to posting it. 
> 
> Raina probably seems overly critical of her parents’ relationship, but I have noticed that the Doctor expects more from River than he does from most people, and of course River has her whole “hide the damage” thing which isn’t at all healthy. Unfortunately for Raina, part of growing up means noticing the flaws of the people you look up to. And, as much as I absolutely adore the Doctor and River, they probably have accidentally taught their kid some bad habits. Whoops. 
> 
> Also, this wasn’t beta read. I did edit it, but I didn’t want to fully rewrite it because I’m trying to keep working on getting more content ready to post. I don’t think there’s anything in here that contradicts the other fic, though. Hopefully. 
> 
> I do have another one-shot that’s several years old that I’m working on editing, so that will either be next month’s post or the one after (since I also want to work on some other stuff). 
> 
> Thanks to Aviantei for reminding me to post and giving me the encouragement to keep on writing!


End file.
